STAN'S BIG, SHRILONKIN, BLACK, SHREK SIZED DICK UP KYLE'S TIGHT ASS!
by randylahey5446
Summary: It's a style/Kyman fic! I never really done this before so I'm a little shy :/. I usually hate these types of stories, but deep down, REALLY DEEP DOWN, I ADORE THEM! ...oh yeah, can you guys please review, idk if I did this "slash" thing right :D (lol, that new episode of sp was funny af. I feel like sp found the perfect balance between commentary and humor, it's sublime)


**EVERYONE I THIS STORY IS AT OR ABOVE THE AGE OF CONSENT YOU SICK FUCKS!**

 **Enjoy :)**

It was a normal Friday night as Stan fucked Kyle with his big, black, shrek-like, donkey dick (I had very nice day out with my family so you guys better enjoy the shit I'm putting myself through)

"Yeah boiiiiiiiiiiiiii," Kyle moaned.

"Was that your longest "yea boi" ever bitch?" he said coming in with out lube. (I am exploding from cognitive dissonance from writing this story rn)

he was really, doing some heathen, I MEAN HEATHEN, fucked up shit to kyle, I mean old testament from the bible shit to Kyle making him orgasm (why has god forsaken me...leave your answers in the comments below :D! don't be shy to favorite and follow my story! Feel free to PM me you guys! ;)...great, can I die now? )

"YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"

Kyle just had the greatest orgasm of his life while his other boyfriend walked into the room.

"HEY, WHAT THE HELL ARE U GUYS DOING?"

"Fuck! it's cartman"

"KYLE...oh wait it's Stan never mind,"

"you don't mind,"

"nah as long as I catch you doing it with stan, that shit is hot af. You know I love getting my dic turned on for some dank Style action! count me in man!" Cartman proclaimed enthusiastically taking off his shirt.

But he sniffed an unwelcoming presence from beneath the bed.

"that smell...is that, LCL FLUID?!" Cartman exclaimed, pulling out an emo-ass, skinny looking fourteen-FIFTEEN I MEAN NINETEEN YEAR OLD out of the bed who looked like he listens to too much tame impala and mac DeMarco, or anything that is or sounds anything like the smiths.

"DUDE! We been friends since forever, how can u do this to me!" Stan yelled, kicking kyle in the balls.

"I got bored Stan, I can't just be with the same person forever you know?"

"WHAT ABOUT ME" Cartmen yelled, kicking Stan in the nuts. "BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY WHO IS THIS PIECE OF SHIT?" as Cartman punches himself in the nuts and pointed at "the boy with the thorn in it's siiiiiiiide, behind the hatred lies a murderous desiiiiiire, for lo- _huuuve_ " (yall crackers need Morrissey)

"dude, that kid piolets the evangelion unit 01, don't you know him. _Second child of the Eva series_. It's dat boi Shinji Ikarai,"

"Shinji..," cartman started, as he paced around the room. "...you know I'm not gonna get into it, I'm not gonna rant BUT TODAY I AM! SINJI, IT'S PEOPLE LIKE YOU LEACH OFF OF THE AMERICAN TAXPAYER, LOOKING FOR AN UNDESERVED HANDOUT,"

"what?" shinji responded with the tone of a cool black person.

"YOU BEEN SUCKING ON THE GOVERMENT'S TEET, UNCLE SAM'S DICK, AND LADY LIBERTIES BOOB'S, FOR WAY TOO LONG!"

"...I make way more money than you,"

"'SINJI', WHAT IS THAT? AN AFRICAN NAME? A MUSLIM NAME? A HERMAPHIDITE NAME? ARE YOU AND AFRICAN, MUSLIM, HERMAPHIDATE? BECUASE SHRILANKIN LAW IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER PEOPLE!"

Sinji only responds by puckering his lips and breathing slowly like an annoyed, but really chill African American.

"what's the fastest road to God's house?" Cartman asked a fired up studio audience, while pulling out the Holy Bible and pulling out a revolver from the inside and pointing the gun to his head. (while the audience roared a passionate "USA! USA!" chant)

"In about two seconds, I'm going to be up in heaven eating spaghetti with Jesus and Ronald Regan," Cartman proclaimed, aiming to pull the trigger, yet interrupted by Token abruptly coming out of the closet. He was wearing baggy prison pants, no shirt, the star treck logo above his left, erect nipple, and started to make a beat with the shackled handcuffs he was wearing (he looked like a confused slave, that's what the south park boys are into these days from what I heard).

" _I wish I was a Von Burten!_ (clank, clank) _I wish I was a Vooon BUrten!_ (clank, clank) _Were is my iconic sleeve ROLLL nigga? ...ERIC! MOTHER FUCKER! I wish I was a Von Burten, FUCK ALL YOU ALLL! FUCK ALL YOU ALL! WONT BE THE RAINBOW READ ME NIGGA! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!_

it's great to be back in this fandom you guys 33 (I swear to God if this motherfucking heart emoji's don't show up on the story but as two three's again, I'm never going to write a smut story ever again smfh!)


End file.
